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I really can't tell. I sit here in front of this monitor, my room pitch black. Wiping my mascara stained tear streaks away. Yes...I cried. The first sweet tears of joy and happiness and maybe even in belief that there was a God somewhere.<br>
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The last bitter tears of anger and fustration and belief that indeed if there was a God he would punish me and the rest of Spursnation this way for unknown reasons. <br>
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This emotional rollercoaster I've ridden started just a mere 5 hours ago. Hope gained, hope lost...all over a game. A game I put my life's passion into. <br>
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I was bawling like a baby when the team crowded Tim, Manu jumping on Tim's back made me laugh through the tears and smiles...it all seemed so perfect. The good guys would win, no way would my team lose in 4 tenths of a second. <br>
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Timeout after timeout, my heart speeding up faster and faster. Then time just seemed to stand still. I can't even see who's gaurding who, all I see is a ball swishing through a net and the clock at zero. My face crumbles. I don't need a review to tell me that the Spurs will not repeat as champions. <br>
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And yes I'm stating that right now that I don't believe the Spurs will win this series now let alone the championship. Call me a non-fan, a bandwagoner, a poor sport, whatever you wish. Call me these names and think poorly of me because it won't matter...I can feel no more pain at this point. The numbness has crept in...almost like a tightness in my chest and arms.<br>
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My whole row of fellow fans sat there stunned, some crying "no shot no shot!" while the poor excuses for referees "reviewed" the play. We knew it was over. I knew it, the man and woman on my left knew it, the crowd knew it. We didn't need the Laker bench jumping for joy to tell that we had lost (in more ways than one).<br>
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No one from my sectioned moved. It was almost as if it was just a dream...or rather a nightmare. How could this have happened? How and why were the questions going through my mind. By that time the tears were flowing...as if you couldn't already tell I'm very emotional when it comes to this team...it's my curse.<br>
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Spursfans booed Shaq, Fisher, and Kobe as they left their interviewees and headed for the lockerroom. I wanted to shout at them to shut up, that nothing we could say or do would change the outcome of this game...it was OVER. I just couldn't find the voice or the will power to shout. <br>
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I walked down the steps people staring at me...sympathizing with my pain. The hall was filled...you could already hear Lakerfans tooting their horns and yelling for their team....so desperately what I wanted to be doing. I changed my mind and instead of fighting the crowd I went to center court, found a fold out chair and leaned on the rail....just staring at the court. Replaying the last 11 seconds over and over in my head.<br>
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A few moments later 4 lakerfans came and sat next to the seats next to me...hoping to see a few members of their team come back on court. An older gentleman and his wife...both decked in silver and black just kept b**** on and on about the Lakers cheating and paying refs. <br>
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It made my head hurt to hear their ignorance. No acknowledgement of the poor performance by the Spurs until the final quarter, nope none at all. Just b**** about cheating and refs. I finally shouted "GOD DAMN ITS OVER ALREADY THERES NOTHING YOU CAN DO!" I suppose they didnt hear me because they said not a word but just left. The 4 lakerfans looked at me incredously as if a Spursfan couldn't tell another Spursfan to shut up. I looked them in the eyes and gave them a "JEEZ" kind of look and throw of my arms. <br>
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They smiled at me and I felt a little better. One of them told me "You know...both of those shot were miracles...it just happened that Fish had the later miracle" I told him I agreed and thanked him for not being obnoxious like the 5 idiots still sitting behind the visitor bench were doing. Screaming and dancing jigs and taunting the still shocked Spursfans sitting in their seats. <br>
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The fans beside me shook their heads in a "no problem" gesture and I brought myself to my feet. " Good luck in the next round guys" I told them and they game me somewhat of a forlorn pity look but said "thank you". <br>
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My travel to the car was a blur of gloating Lakerfans, b**** Spursfans, and silent/shocked Spursfans like myself. <br>
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My phone rings and it's Jackie...can I even talk? I have talked to no one I know since that nightmare happened. Just the lakerfans. I answer the phone telling myself not to sound pathetic and trying to not let her know I'm crying. It doesn't work...I know she can hear me just letting loose on all of the emotion. I tell her we can't win...that it's over. All of it. It's over. Moments later I hang up with her and find the car I was driven in. <br>
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And somehow I end up here. In front of this monitor. In my pitch black room. Staring at all of the users logged in. Wondering if I should even do updates or just go to sleep and hope to wake up and find that it was just a nightmare and not real.
<p><!--EZCODE CENTER START--><div style="text-align:center"> <!--EZCODE FONT START--><span style="font-size:xx-small;">"Our kid is now THE MAN!"<!--EZCODE BOLD START--><strong>Spurs fans on Tony Parker</strong><!--EZCODE BOLD END--></span><!--EZCODE FONT END--> <br>
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