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Samr
Joined: 10 Aug 2004
Posts: 868
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 Posted: Fri Mar 11, 2005 5:00 am Post subject: My 2! Cents: honoring Tim Derk |
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by Samr
SpursCentral.com
March 3, 2005
Per standard operating procedure, I am yet again starting the article with a personal account. Why? Because it gives the reader a sense that I know what I am talking about. It makes me appear like some authority figure on the subject, having had some kind of personal experience in the field. This is seldom true. I am simply an undercover magician. I use smoke screens and unethical punctuation to transform your literary reality into an environment with which I am comfortable. I put up the illusion that what I do is reality. I make you believe what I want you to believe. Or maybe it’s what you want to believe. I really don’t know. In any event, what you don’t see behind the scenes can’t hurt you. Ignorance is bliss, I suppose. Or maybe I’m just trying to get some cheap laughs at my expense.
Having nothing to do that particular Saturday, my father decided to take my brother and I down to the Alamodome a bit early. We figured we’d watch the players warm up and yell derogatory remarks towards the ever-growing Shaquille O’Neal. Really, the guy is like one of those toy towels. They start out about the size of a can of shoe polish, then you put them in the bathtub and watch as it expands to a size which previously seemed physically impossible. Except with Shaq, you add pre-game meals, not water. I swear the guy gains five pounds from his pre-game interviews (consisting of “Superman gone lay it down on Timmy D, and now for one of my patented one-liners: Superman will rock, and roll, and shake….and after the game I’ll leave a Spurs team in my wake. Uhhehehehe”) to tip-off. Really, he’s a freak of nature. And not the good kind. There, I needed to get that out of my system.
Ok, so there I was, sitting in my seat and minding the business of the dangerously overweight man-child behind me. Some guy came up to our seats and asked my brother and I if we could help out during a timeout skit. Not being one to turn down my fifteen minutes of fame, I happily obliged. He took us down to a large room, where we were introduced to the Coyote and his staff by our chauffer with the phrase, “here, I found your solution. These guys will do.” Responded the Coyote, “Great. Finally.” I was shocked, amazed, and disappointed. It was equivalent to the time I found out Abraham Lincoln had a high-pitched voice. Some things just aren’t plausible: the Coyote talking, and Abe Lincoln sounding like a school girl to name a few. I’ve never forgiven my history teacher for that. The Coyote, on the other hand, is now off my hit list. So there we were, two giants (I was in 7th grade, my brother was in 5th) amongst the larger half of “San Antonio’s Most Annoying Little Brat” contestants. It was like the little 5-year-old next door who terrorizes your landscaping, reproduced about 20 times. The Coyote was to give us instructions. After attempting to show us complicated choreography for the skit while using his hands and his set of removable, Velcro eyes, he gave up in dramatic fashion and did the obligatory fall before he left the task to his assistants. The little kids cracked up.
Our task was to chase the Coyote, who was cheaply dressed up as some form of stereotypical bandit, around the court. When he held up a stuffed Coyote doll, equally costumed, we would all freeze. Then he’d run around some more and do it until the cuteness wore off. Eventually, he’d fall and the kids would throw their lassos around him. This is where my brother and I came in. The little kids couldn’t drag the Coyote off the court, a move specifically incorporated in the skit to make only the parents of these children laugh. Unfortunately, all little kids know how to do is run around and do that which makes them look the most important. They don’t know how to work as a team. My brother and I were brought in to be the bronze of the operation. In hindsight, I should have relished in that moment. It would mark the only time my skinny little frame would ever be asked to be the muscle behind anything. The skit went off flawlessly, save for a few kids screaming “hi Mommy!!” upon realizing they were center court in front of a packed Alamodome crowd. The Coyote thanked each and every one of us, and gave us commemorative t-shirts which were specifically sized to keep us from ever wearing them out in public. He refused to shake our hands, a gesture I thought made me look older than I was, but instead opted for a hug. His costume smelled, but that’s beside the point.
While I realize I just spent three paragraphs explaining something which could be aptly described in a matter of sentences, this, to me, is one of my most cherished Spurs memories. I didn’t meet any players, and I can tell you that being on the court is not as cool as you may think. What this story was is the perfect Coyote moment. It was something so innocently naïve that I had to laugh at it. I don’t know why, and I can’t pinpoint the exact location of the humor. In fact, being in a room full of little children is downright frightening. But I had to laugh, because the Coyote was there.
Spurs fans always find themselves saying things like “The Spurs just picked up so-and-so. He’s a solid player, but fits really well with the type players the Spurs have” or “So-and-so is a metaphor for the organization: he cares, he’s humble, and he’s good.” Everything Spurs fans see, every person they read about, instantly becomes a target for metaphorical comparison to the “solid” organization the Spurs run, and the quality of people they employee. I do this all the time, and plead guilty as charged. But what role does a mascot play on a team? Can you really associate the mascot with the major clogs in the organization? Maybe. Take a look at Tim Derk. No, I mean the person.
The Three Stooges. You can’t help but laugh at them. While some may prefer intelligent, witty, or gross humor (I’m more of a Dave Barry fan, personally), one cannot argue with the inherent funny in seeing someone getting whacked over the head with a frying pan. Bonus points if it’s been in the camp fire. What the Three Stooges do is appeal to a mass audience by reducing the art of humor to its lowest common denominator. They do so cleanly, without the need for serious violence, special effects, or bathroom humor. The Three Stooges were so good at what they did because they were strong with their fundamentals: slapstick, wise cracks, and easily understandable jokes.
For years, the Coyote was part of the Spurs Experience. If he wasn’t leading chants of “Go Spurs Go!!” or crowd surfing, he was over-dramatizing a flop from an opposing player (usually Karl Malone or Vlade Divac). If he wasn’t riding his unicycle around he was dressed up as a Christmas tree and “stealing” plays from the opposing team’s huddle, then rushing them over to the Spurs’ bench. When he wasn’t flying through the air, over several unwilling Silver Dancer participants, to dunk the ball in dramatic fashion, he was nailing a half-court 3-pointer. The Coyote was as fundamentally sound in his skits as he was a comedic genius. He would make everyone from the little kids, to the average Joes, to the grandparents, to the opposing players laugh. He never did anything degrading to the other team, such as blowing up, running over, or otherwise opposing mascots as is standard practice with other teams. He was never arrested as the Chicago Bull was for selling drugs out of the back of his car. The Coyote was an entertainer, and he was as fundamentally sound in his humor as Tim Duncan is in his bank shot. And then he got sick.
When it was announced that the Coyote had suffered a stroke, it came as a shock to the entire city. No one had known who was behind that furry outfit, something the Coyote had gone to great lengths to achieve. No one even knew if it was one person. When Tim Derk first released a picture of himself, and the medical reasons for his absence, the city’s inner soul was put on public display. It took a matter of days before Tim Derk was inundated with emails, letters, and cards wishing him well. He reported over 10 thousand emails alone. Said Tim’s wife, Colleen Derk in a letter to the Express News, “I cannot express what a relief it is to have all of San Antonio know what I have known for more than 15 years of marriage — that Tim loves this town and the people here. The prayers and support coming back to him have been invaluable. His rehabilitation is going extremely well. I fully believe his accelerated recovery is due not only to his incredible inner and outer strength, but also to the grace of God and the support of this amazing city. What a privilege to be a part of this San Antonio family.” But it wasn’t just San Antonio who offered up support. Tim got letters from Israel, England, and Holland ("I always loved the Coyote," said Jurgen Aspers, "just the way he moves at the sidelines and the tricks he pulls ... he's the best.") Mascots league-wide showed their support by wearing “TD- 2!” arm bands. The mascot, the man, who had supported a city and a franchise was getting his love and unselfish devotion reciprocated. “To have the fans say ‘thank you’ and to give me the chance to say thank you to them; to me as a performer it gives me the chance to exhale, like if gave my work all I had,” said Tim. “It’s like I finished a race and I have my hands on my knees and just exhaling. It’s just unbelievable. Rather than just be depressed about not being able to do anymore. I give thanks on Thanksgiving for having been able to do it for so long.”
The ability to say that I got to interact with the Coyote, with Tim Derk, is one of my most cherished possessions. No one can take that away from me. To say that you were allowed to participate in a skit with one of the greatest mascots in the history if the NBA is like saying that you caught a pass from Michael Jordan. It wasn’t the fact that I got to step onto the court during a timeout in a Lakers game, my most despised enemies only steps away from me, it was the fact that Tim made sure that all the 20-some-odd kids participating had a good time. It was the fact that Tim not only cared about making the fans laugh, but about making a memory for all of those involved.
Tim would walk out onto the court in the midst of a stressful situation (say, the Spurs down by a dozen) and get the crowd into the game. He’d lead a chant, or poke fun at the referees. And if that didn’t work, he’d fall to the ground harder than one should. He would make the crowd laugh, and get some kind of enjoyment out of the situation. He’d do whatever it took to make the fans happy. Even if that meant a few laughs at his expense.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Some people create words with music or with a brush and paints. I like to make something beautiful when I run. I like to make people stop and say 'I've never seen anyone run like that before.' It's more than just a race, it's a style. It's doing something better than anyone else. It's being creative" -Steve Prefontaine |
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Samr
Joined: 10 Aug 2004
Posts: 868
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| Posted: Fri Mar 11, 2005 5:03 am Post subject: My 2! Cents: honoring Tim Derk |
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I'm going to be gone most of next week (Spring Break) so I figured this article will carry through then. I was kind of in a rush to get it out (I set a deadline for myself, I make it), so excuse any lapses in fluidity. And if this article falls on its face, I will make it up with the next Playoff Focus. I took a gamble, I hope this pays off.
Oh, and sorry about the length. Really, just bare with me. I think it's worth it. Maybe.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Some people create words with music or with a brush and paints. I like to make something beautiful when I run. I like to make people stop and say 'I've never seen anyone run like that before.' It's more than just a race, it's a style. It's doing something better than anyone else. It's being creative" -Steve Prefontaine Edited by: Samr at: 3/10/05 10:27 pm
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Velozity
Guest
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| Posted: Fri Mar 11, 2005 6:15 am Post subject: My 2! Cents: honoring Tim Derk |
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| Intresting.
_____________
Soon all the joy that pours from everything makes
fountains of your eyes. Because you finally understand the movement of a hand waving you good-bye. |
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GrandeDavid
Brazil
Joined: 22 Jun 2001
Posts: 1468
Location: Brazil
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| Posted: Fri Mar 11, 2005 1:07 pm Post subject: My 2! Cents: honoring Tim Derk |
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| Excellent, Sam!
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_________________
Pop drinks win, D'Antoni makes whine. |
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Mutinous Dog
Beware of me
Joined: 21 Nov 2004
Posts: 477
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| Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 1:24 am Post subject: Re: My 2! Cents: honoring Tim Derk |
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Great article on The Coyote Sam! If the fans are the Spurs 6th man, The Coyote should be considered our de facto leader. When the crowd was flat due to events on the court, it usually came down to him doing something about it. And it worked many times. He would get the crowd into it which would in turn get the players into the game. And the look of delight on kids faces when The Coyote does his thing is priceless.
In my opinion, Tim Derk as The Coyote was at the top of field of NBA mascots in terms of character development and athleticism. Phoenix has that idiotic Gorilla dunking off of a trampoline, Denver has Rocky the Mountain Lion, Minnesota has that ridiculous looking Wolf, New Orleans has the dude in the Bug outfit, and so on. But none of them hold a candle to The Coyote in terms of creativity. Over the years, his skits have also introduced us to Mrs. Coyote and the kids too.
The Coyote character, borrowing obviously from the cartoon character Wile E. Coyote, came with a built-in act based on humor and hijinx. The athleticism of Tim Derk is what really set him apart though. This is just scratching the surface but over the years I've witnessed him circle the court on a tall unicycle and sink a 3-pointer, dribble the ball with his feet, sink a half-court shot with his back to the basket, play frisbee with precision and skill, repel down from the ceiling, body-surf the crowd, and bust dance moves with the best of them.
But as Sam stated, it was very strange when that mystery of who was behind the talented character disappeared with Tim Derk's stroke. None of us really considered the physical toll of all those years in that Coyote suit. I guess the mystery of the Coyote's identity does in fact live on in Junior but my admiration for Tim Derk has grown even more with his recovery from the stroke.
The Coyote character will continue to entertain us for many years to come. But Tim Derk created the legacy and should be formally recognized as a legendary and beloved figure in the history of the Spurs organization. 
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ryno
Pizzle Fo Shizzle, AKA the Machine
Joined: 07 Aug 2004
Posts: 3368
Location: The Great Northwest
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Samr
Joined: 10 Aug 2004
Posts: 868
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| Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 2:27 am Post subject: Re: My 2! Cents: honoring Tim Derk |
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Quote:
Coyote noticed a woman in the first row with a fur coat. He promptly ripped it away from her. Threw it on the floor and commenced to give it CPR.
I was at that game as well. It takes a lot to make me audibly laugh (normally I just do the "heh, that's funny" thing in my head), but that had me in stitches. Or maybe it was because I was working on my third $3 coke. I don't really know.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Some people create words with music or with a brush and paints. I like to make something beautiful when I run. I like to make people stop and say 'I've never seen anyone run like that before.' It's more than just a race, it's a style. It's doing something better than anyone else. It's being creative" -Steve Prefontaine |
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ryno
Pizzle Fo Shizzle, AKA the Machine
Joined: 07 Aug 2004
Posts: 3368
Location: The Great Northwest
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